Our Commonly Uncommon Journey
By Chelsey Dankert
I often feel like I am an anomaly, an island floating in the sea of endless homeschooling moms and all their opinions.
Maybe I’m not actually that odd, but rather we rogue mamas just hunker down and keep our heads low, not drawing attention to our very un-aesthetic, un-routined, and quite chaotic daily life.
I’ll be honest, I struggle finding inspiration from outlets that feel so very different from us. I love that some families can have a dedicated school room, with floor to ceiling bookshelves and endless craft supplies (and ready-to-go plans to use said supplies). I love that mothers have found peace within their own with candlelit poetry tea-times, and blessedly calm mornings spent with hand embroidery projects and lovely earth-toned quiet play sets.
Really. I do admire what I see projected on social media. And if that is a true admission of their daily lives, more power to them.
But it’s not me. It’s not us.
I have finally released that long-held expectation that I should want my life to look like that, because, frankly, I don’t.
Our daily life and homeschool journey feel shockingly different than most of those even in my own community, not just distant social media accounts. I haven’t quite known how to fit into conversations about curriculum and rhythms and co-ops; and at times I even refrain, because of the looks of confusion I receive.
You might be asking, what in the world could I be saying and doing that might warrant such responses?
Before I get into that, let me preface by saying, I don’t truly believe that I am all that awkward (well, maybe I am), but I am (for the most part) confident that our daily routines are working at its best for us in this season. I am open for change and pivots, but at some point, there has to be a “this is what we are doing” and stick to it.
Ok - drumroll please…
First and foremost, what sets us apart from most homeschool families that I know personally and see on social media, is that I work part time from home.
It’s because of this job that my husband and I felt the freedom to even consider the possibility of homeschooling.
Regardless of how much I do enjoy my job, the responsibility of having to clock in three days a week is restricting and does limit our spontaneous adventures. This helps to keep our weekly schedule fairly consistent, but makes our day-to-day different from one day to the next. I adjust our school schedule to reflect the time available based on my work schedule and that particular day's activities. Since the start of 2025, I have released more on the older kids to complete more work independently while I work two mornings a week. I try to prioritize a mid-morning break together, and allow time for each one to sit beside me while I’m working (ideally while I am NOT on an online meeting) to help work through their struggles. It’s not perfect, and often we pivot during our days to meet our needs.
Another noticeable difference, from my point of view, is that we are fairly eclectic when it comes to curriculum. I knew from the beginning, in 2023, that I didn’t want to commit to a big box curriculum. Some of my reasons were, and still are:
Our kids were still pretty young, only 1st and 2nd grade when we started, with a 4 year old and a young toddler as well. I knew that I personally didn’t have the capacity to sit and teach every subject (see: reason in above paragraph), and purchasing an entire set felt wasteful.
I wanted to spend time getting to know each other and how to live more of our daily, even hourly, lives together, without the pressure of accomplishing a mighty checklist.
All of the kids are so completely different! Yes, there are fundamentals of education that are necessary to become a productive adult, but even those can be compromised and strategically adjusted to meet the passions and strengths of each individual child. We lean far into what each child is good at and what he or she enjoys, even if it’s a passing fancy.
And to piggyback on that last point, each kid is above or below or average in any given subject. I wanted the option to individualize their home education. Picking and choosing different curriculum has given us the freedom to explore, adjust, and challenge the kids based on their own personal journey.
Starting our homeschool journey I was asked very often if we were a part of a co-op. My answer is still a resounding “no, we are not.” I can’t speak for the other side of this opinion, I only know that it has not seemed like a good fit for our schedule.
Please hear my heart, I am not a hermit or a curmudgeon.
At least, I don’t think I am…
But community can come in all shapes and sizes, schedules and commitments.
We are deeply involved in our local Community Bible Study. If you haven’t heard of it, I would strongly encourage you to check out their site and see where the closest one to you is! Because of our involvement, we have two mornings away from home:
The first, and typical commitment is actually attending the group one morning a week. For me, this time is spent in small groups of women and mothers with a core leader/facilitator (which is my role), as we walk and talk, step by step, deeper into the Bible. Our two older kids (currently, 4th and 2nd grade) have age-appropriate books that go side-by-side with what I am personally studying. This has been so great reading the Bible together! The younger kids have a “Sunday School” style of setting where they are able to play and learn about Bible stories.
Our second commitment with CBS (which recently concluded but am committed to for the 2025-26 school year), I have the privilege of working through the weekly study with the other leaders and teachers. During this time, the kids spend an additional morning each week with other kids of all ages in an “open-gym” style of atmosphere with time to work on school if needed. The community has been so sweet for my soul, as well as seeing the blessing of the kids' friendships blooming over the extra time spent with new friends.
While I realize that CBS is not the “traditional” co-op that most homeschooling families are involved with, it has served more than its purpose for social interactions and community, having other teachers over the kids, learning responsibility as we all complete daily studies (ok, maybe not everyday, but likely completed on time!), and a constant in our weekly schedules.
The absolutely beautiful thing about homeschooling is that we can make it what we want, what is best for our families.
It is my hope that these words are encouraging to you, dear friend. That perhaps you might realize that not all homeschool journeys are meant to look the same or have the same inputs and outcomes.
And maybe we can find encouragement that what we feel makes us uncommon, is in fact, what we have in common.