The busyness of summer spilled into a bustling start to fall for us this year. However, the last couple of weeks has brought with it a slowing down of sorts. We’re starting to fall into our rhythm, some of our activities have lessened a bit for the colder months, and this past weekend’s time change has officially marked shorter days and extra time for cozying up.

I had expected this year to be no different. Maybe different tasks on different days, or kids' activities on slightly adjusted times; but for the most part, I assumed our routines would be a carbon copy of what worked well in the past. 

You know what they say happens when you assume, don’t you?

Being diagnosed with ADHD late in life was somehow both a game-changer and yet changed absolutely nothing at all. It helped me understand myself a little bit better and figure out ways to manage life more effectively. It helped me find medication to make some of the hard days a little less hard.

We have likely all “been there” in one way or another - a vacation planned, an all day outing, a mounting to-do list when who should barge into our lives but Aunt Flo.

 “What would my life look like if I only focused on glorifying the Lord?” What if I just let go of all the little things that worry me? What if I stopped trying to take control over my family, my businesses and my life? What if I just spent my time here on earth praising him. 

My body is becoming my own again. My time is more flexible for the things I enjoy. My mind has space for complete thoughts. My heart is open to dreaming again. 

For as long as I can remember, friendship for me has been two-fold: something both sacred and hard.

This process is something I am wrestling with firsthand in this season. It is incredibly difficult to look at my schedule and realize that not only is it unreasonable to assume all the commitments can be done without utter exhaustion, but also recognize that this impossible spider-webbed limbo of expectations was something I thought I actually wanted. 

What I am saying is that when I worry too much about all the dangers that could be lacing our food or medications, MY mental health is affected. 

In every step and season of motherhood, I felt as if I was taking one step further away from me. Whoever I was supposed to be, at my core, felt unfamiliar and distant.

Don’t lose yourself in everything that you feel you are supposed to be doing. 

In every step and season of motherhood, I felt as if I was taking one step further away from me. Whoever I was supposed to be, at my core, felt unfamiliar and distant.

Don’t lose yourself in everything that you feel you are supposed to be doing.