How many times have I just wanted to sit down and finish a cup of coffee without being interrupted or eat my own sweet treat without the sticky hands appearing out of nowhere asking to share.

Sometime in the middle of January the idea of trying new things popped into my head and I’ve not been able to quiet it since. And because I can’t live in my misery alone, I’m planting it in your mind too. Because, yes, trying new things scares me. It elevates my heart rate just like a good dare does in a game that’s meant to be fun.

So, I triple dog dare you…

As a redeemed perfectionist, the start of the new year—and all the pressure that comes with it—added to my dread of failing and being physically uncomfortable. It was really just icing (ha, pun intended) on this frozen cake of angst.

But, as I sat there thinking and praying over my 2026 and what it looks like to “move on” from the last three years, the Holy Spirit highlighted a few things to me. He spoke to me in the frame of “more & less ofs”, and with that I have made my 2026 goals.

“Did you and Nathan start any Christmas traditions this year?” the wife turned and asked me.

The question hit me by surprise, and I felt a bit like a deer in the headlights. Responding with “no” sounded odd, as if we had somehow failed at something. Yet the truth was, we hadn’t put much thought into our new family unit and what traditions we wanted to start. We simply fell in step with our family's plans and didn’t think twice.

I think that all too often, the ands in motherhood are overlooked, even frowned upon; as if we should only ever feel one emotion at a time given that our station in life is so blessed by all the pitter-patter of small feet (that are likely crunching up Aldi Cheddar Turtles that have been neglected) and the early mornings that should mean welcoming those chatty unbound conversations because you know, one day it’ll be quiet in the house and we will miss these times.

The busyness of summer spilled into a bustling start to fall for us this year. However, the last couple of weeks has brought with it a slowing down of sorts. We’re starting to fall into our rhythm, some of our activities have lessened a bit for the colder months, and this past weekend’s time change has officially marked shorter days and extra time for cozying up.

I had expected this year to be no different. Maybe different tasks on different days, or kids' activities on slightly adjusted times; but for the most part, I assumed our routines would be a carbon copy of what worked well in the past. 

You know what they say happens when you assume, don’t you?

Being diagnosed with ADHD late in life was somehow both a game-changer and yet changed absolutely nothing at all. It helped me understand myself a little bit better and figure out ways to manage life more effectively. It helped me find medication to make some of the hard days a little less hard.

We have likely all “been there” in one way or another - a vacation planned, an all day outing, a mounting to-do list when who should barge into our lives but Aunt Flo.

 “What would my life look like if I only focused on glorifying the Lord?” What if I just let go of all the little things that worry me? What if I stopped trying to take control over my family, my businesses and my life? What if I just spent my time here on earth praising him. 

My body is becoming my own again. My time is more flexible for the things I enjoy. My mind has space for complete thoughts. My heart is open to dreaming again. 

For as long as I can remember, friendship for me has been two-fold: something both sacred and hard.

This process is something I am wrestling with firsthand in this season. It is incredibly difficult to look at my schedule and realize that not only is it unreasonable to assume all the commitments can be done without utter exhaustion, but also recognize that this impossible spider-webbed limbo of expectations was something I thought I actually wanted. 

What I am saying is that when I worry too much about all the dangers that could be lacing our food or medications, MY mental health is affected. 

In every step and season of motherhood, I felt as if I was taking one step further away from me. Whoever I was supposed to be, at my core, felt unfamiliar and distant.

Don’t lose yourself in everything that you feel you are supposed to be doing. 

In every step and season of motherhood, I felt as if I was taking one step further away from me. Whoever I was supposed to be, at my core, felt unfamiliar and distant.

Don’t lose yourself in everything that you feel you are supposed to be doing.