Adding Whimsy with an ADHD Diagnosis
by Emily Marshall, guest writer
Falling asleep at the wheel is nothing to mess around with. Hearing those rumble strips and being jolted awake is horribly scary and I would not wish that on anyone. As a young adult, I lived in Grand Rapids and worked a second shift, part-time job in Grand Haven – a 40-minute drive each way. And every day on the drive to and from the office, my eyes would get heavy and start to close. I tried everything. I tried podcasts, audiobooks, music. I even tried using the recording feature of my phone to “write”, hoping that by engaging my creative juices, I’d stay awake. But nothing worked.
Nothing, except talking to my mom on the phone. We would chat about life, about the ups and downs it brings, about the weather, about people we knew, about TV shows and cultural events. We talked about everything – we spent a lot of time on the phone over the years. She didn’t want her little girl to get into a crash. And I’m so grateful that she would chat with me for the long drives midday, and the long drives home, late at night. God bless her for that.
What was odd was that I was getting a solid 8-hours of sleep every night. I didn’t think I had sleep apnea because I didn’t snore. I could not figure out why I would get so sleepy on the road, even after a short 10 to 15-minute drive. I just continued with life, talking to my mom anytime I drove anywhere somewhat far away.
Eventually, I moved back home to St. Joseph. I took a job as a care manager social worker for the local Area Agency on Aging. This job required that I drive to and from clients’ homes and do bio-psycho-social assessments. Which meant more driving. Lots more driving. Which also meant more phone time with my poor mom. At this point, I was annoyed. Why in the world was this happening?! There had to be a reason. I sought out a sleep doctor. No findings. I worked with a counselor and my primary care physician and finally, after much testing and evaluation, learned that I had ADHD. I was relieved. There was a reason for my daytime drowsiness.
Oftentimes, when people think of ADHD, they imagine hyperactive kids bouncing all over the place. Which can be true. But for me, I struggled with the “inattentive” part of ADHD. As I drove along the highways and byways of life (literally), I lost my ability to focus and promptly fell asleep! The diagnosis was, quite honestly, a relief. I was relieved to know what was going on and I was relieved to know there was a way to fix it. I was prescribed medication, and I no longer had to fear driving!
What was interesting about the diagnosis is that, looking back, I could see how my ADHD manifested itself throughout all my years, but that I just had excellent ways of coping so that I could still be successful in life. I impressed myself with my own creativity. I remember sitting in college classes, unable to pay attention and getting drowsy. So, I would keep silly putty in my purse and fiddle with it during class. The tactile engagement of the putty kept my brain stimulated enough so that I could stay awake and pay attention. I remember many church services where I would slowly close my eyes. So, I started taking notes to stay awake.
And it wasn’t just drowsiness. Getting any type of work done was a chore, too. I remember sitting in my cubicle one day, staring at my laptop screen for hours, not even scrolling social media and being distracted, but just blankly staring because I could not force my brain to function or do anything. And even with my medication, I still sometimes struggle and must get creative.
My earliest memory of struggling to get work done was when I was a kid. I was tasked with the job of cleaning my room. Not a fun task. Yet, I had to get it done one way or the other. My method by which to do that was unique. I would grab a roll of masking tape from the drawer and carefully section off my room into four quadrants by laying tape down on the carpet. Then, it was my job to clean one quadrant at a time. By doing it this way, the job feels smaller and more manageable. It was easier to know where to begin once I chose a quadrant – easier to focus. It was easier to motivate myself because I could see it getting clean right before my very eyes, one small chunk at a time!
And then if the tape/quadrant method still wasn’t working super well, I would imagine I was a servant girl, cleaning the bedroom of the royal princess, and the castle was on fire! But I was not allowed to leave and escape the fire until the room was entirely cleaned. That always lit a metaphorical fire under my butt. Creativity for the win! I continue to use the tape method to this day. In fact, our living room was a bit of a disaster this morning and I grabbed the tape and went to work. And before I knew it, the room was clean.
Another way my nerdiness shines is at work. Sometimes tasks become repetitive, mundane, or just kind of boring. So, I make a game out of my work, too. My dear brother used his 3D printer to make me a “dice tower”. For those of you who aren’t familiar, this is something that is often used in the game “Dungeons and Dragons”. It’s a super fun way to roll dice – you put the dice at the top of the tower, they roll down miniature stairs and by the time they reach the bottom of the tower, you have your random number! I keep a set of multiple sided dice at my desk. When the tasks bore me to death and I can’t seem to pick one because they are all dreadfully uninspiring, I grab my task list and number each item off. Then I roll my dice and start with whatever number I land on! It’s a much more exciting way to get the momentum rolling (pun intended).
A fun method that works for both work and home life is the use of timers. Sure, you can use the timer on your phone, or your Alexa, or whatever – but I choose to use sand timers. They’re much more aesthetically pleasing. I have two sand timers at my desk at work, one is a 5-minute timer, the other a 30-minute timer. Depending on the looming task, I choose an appropriate timer, flip it over and get going! My goal then is to either beat the clock and get the task done before the sand has reached the bottom, or to get as many tasks completed as possible before time runs out. Gamification for the win!
My last little trick is utilizing rewards. This might sound simple and boring. And maybe it is. But I grab my colored pens (colored pens really do make all the difference when it comes to list-making). I will then write out an alternating list, starting with a work task, followed by a “reward” task. The trick is, when I’m working remotely, to make the “reward” task something that feels good to do but is also productive. For example, my list might look like this:
1. Make calls to so and so.
2. Empty the dishwasher.
3. Respond to email inquiry.
4. Make the bed.
5. Write up notes from meeting.
6. Gather and sort the laundry.
This is where it’s tricky! The “reward” tasks are also tasks that I need to do that some might consider work, too. But these kinds of tasks feel so good when they’re done because the house is looking nicer, feeling nicer, and for me, it’s more of a warm and welcoming space with no tasks lingering in my brain. But if that just seems like double the work, you could make your list alternating between work tasks and more truly fun tasks, such as painting your nails, going for a walk, enjoying another cup of coffee. I’ve done that before, too. Both ways work.
Being diagnosed with ADHD late in life was somehow both a game-changer and yet changed absolutely nothing at all. It helped me understand myself a little bit better and figure out ways to manage life more effectively. It helped me find medication to make some of the hard days a little less hard. It helped keep me safe on the roads. It helped me embrace the quirks and oddities of who I am and share my fun with others, knowing there are probably lots of people out there just like me. So, while you may not have ADHD, and you may not struggle with executive function or focus, just know that being creative with your work and tasks can be a lot of fun! It adds a little whimsy to life. Grab yourself a colored pen. Write that list. Cross tasks off and enjoy the little hit of dopamine once you do.