Traditions: Old & New
By Chelsey Dankert
Christmas is really and truly one of my favorite times of the year (long and lazy summer weekends at the lake is first, if you were wondering). But while I love the warmth of reading on the boat, decorating and preparing for Christmas holds a special place in my heart.
When I was younger, my mom would elaborately decorate the house and wrap our gifts. She went all out on the bows, like with staples and hot glue and actual ribbon. There would be gigantic bows on every door frame or door and on the top of our tree with its long tails curling down the tree.
I remember pursuing the Hallmark store after Christmas every year and gathering new collections of ornaments. She had all sorts and way too many to appreciate on a single tree, so one year we diligently painted wooden beads red and green to string up on the walls and hang ornaments from them. I had special sets of angels, cherubs, and soldiers that had their very own string. It wasn’t exactly a “winter-wonderland” feeling growing up, but I expectantly looked forward every year to those big red totes with green lids being pulled out of the attic and the garage.
My mom was also an expert gift-wrapper, in my opinion. The care she took with the creases and folds was impeccable (and a personal expectation of my own adult life now), and of course, over-the-top-bows. I loved to stay up late with her the nights leading up to Christmas helping her wrap gifts and watching movies. To keep me from guessing my own gifts she would create a code system each year and make us figure it out before we could open anything.
Ah, the memories.
As my husband and I started our own little family, our first Christmases were not so elaborate. Our first Christmas in our first home contained a single “Christmas Plant” which was some sort of sturdy viney thing that held up a few ornaments and our gifts were a vacuum cleaner and a fireproof safe because a) we needed them, and b) it was all we could afford (which explains the lack of purchasing an actual Christmas tree that year).
Thankfully we have become a bit more established over the last 12 years and I have a few designated Christmas totes of my own in the basement just itching to come out in the coming days.
In all my love and joy during this season, I can also readily admit that it is one of the most stressful. And I’m not even talking about fighting lines (although it does make our weekly grocery shopping more stressful), just the busyness in general: more get-togethers, extra services at church, and many family festivities. Both Evan and I come from larger families and both sides of Christmas are quite the event. Several of my siblings fly in from other states so it has become a several day affair, but thankfully at the beginning of the month. The Dankert side is slightly more chill, and we have adapted the days following Christmas up through New Years Eve to celebrate with Evan’s family. I am extremely grateful that we have the freedom and flexibility to stay home for Christmas Eve and we do not travel on Christmas day. This was a hard and fast boundary we made when we moved back to Michigan and I will forever be grateful to Past-Chelsey-and-Evan for making that decision early on.
On top of our standard December commitments, we add in dance recital weekend and Evan’s birthday, and try to maintain some semblance of schoolwork and routine when honestly we are usually burnt out and unfocused.
Over the last few years, I have felt my heart shifting, yearning for something slower and more intentional during the season we celebrate our Savior's birth. I haven’t quite been able to get to the place I want to be, but every year seems a little closer to the “all is calm,” feeling I’m looking for.
One place I know I can create some new unrushed routines would be our schoolwork. I can’t remember exactly what I tried last year, but I know it didn’t work. I recall feeling flustered by wanting to create memories but constantly exhausted by the tug-of-war that our schedule stressed. We would have several days off, then try to pick up at the same pace as October and nothing felt accomplished or at least retained well.
It’s for all these reasons that I am so excited to try Christmas School this year! It is really my prayer that this year, even in the middle of commitments, we will be able to cherish our days at home together and maybe my kids won’t remember the stressed out woman that I was last year.
The Dankert Family Christmas School:
The Connected Christmas by Treehouse Schoolhouse. As I’m sure you read yesterday from Alison, she is also using this curriculum and I am really happy to be able to walk alongside her - even if her previous years weren’t perfect! While I am trying to manage my expectations, I would love to experience the readings with Evan home in the evenings, and thoughtful conversations with all our kids as they grow in a new way of learning and understanding the Christmas story as it unfolds over several weeks.
Slower mornings. Again, trying to not imagine social-media-perfect images in my mind, but I would love to embrace the cool, slow mornings of the month. Maybe we’ll light a few candles and stay in our PJs and have a movie morning. Our current school days start at 9:30, but two days a week we rush off by 8:30am; having our calendar clear for a few weeks would be a welcomed change.
Family gift exchange. We started this several years ago and I loved the excitement that the kids got to pick out something special for a sibling or parent. We draw names together on December 1st and I am considering using some of the craft ideas from The Connected Christmas to consider making part of the gift rather than scrolling together on Amazon. This idea has yet to be discussed with Evan at the time of this writing.
Christmas Eve Service. This is my absolute favorite service of the year. Our church is extremely thoughtful and dedicated to bringing a traditional retelling of the Christmas story with a little flare and creativity each year.
A Shepherds Dinner. I saw this last year and wanted to do it, but was too rushed to feel like I could do it well. If you haven’t heard of this idea yet (it’s still rather low-key), it’s a simple, no-prep meal that would be similar to what the shepherds may have eaten before the angels visited them. I personally love the idea of no-prep, but also the reminder of simple and centered, a reflective atmosphere in preparation for the Good News. This would be a time of no screens or other distractions, likely after our church service; maybe even on the floor by the tree with a fire going.
Christmas PJs and books. We may plan to eat like shepherds, but I love the kids opening special jammies on Christmas Eve. We haven’t done full family matching sets, but more individual sets for each child and what they are comfortable in. In the past years they also get a book to open on Christmas Eve.
Giving Hope. If you haven’t guessed it, Alison and I attend the same church, and I also look forward to how they support our local community and the global church. We work with the kids to go through their toys and collect sets that they don’t use so much anymore. We have lots of discussions about how we can continue to bless others with things that have brought us joy.
Math. I swear, this was on my list before Alison wrote her blog. We have a weird schedule of finishing workbooks by December, so “new grades” are often entered in January. This year is not different, but instead of trying to start something new and more challenging in possibly the most challenging month of the year, I am planning to print off worksheets for the kids and require 3 completed sheets a week. They will be able to choose if they do them all in one day, or spread them out. I may find some fun Christmas themed ones, but using online resources for free, I am more than happy to not kill myself for the snowman in the corner and use regular ones.
We have so many other things that fill our days and hearts during the Christmas season: decorating cookies with both Nana and Grandma, seeing aunts and uncles and cousins - sometimes for the only time that year - playing in the snow (weather permitting), movie nights at home, all together with Dad manning the fire, Christmas music, so much Christmas music all the time.
We have to hurdle over my not-so-favorite holiday first, but I anticipate starting Christmas School on December 1st and use the three-week outline over the entire month of December.
Merry Preparation to you all!
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