Trust The Process
By Chelsey Dankert
As I sit back and consider 2025, “trust the process” would be a fitting title for the year. This year has been one of transition; of letting go and letting God.
In January if you would have given me any hint of the changes coming, I’m not sure I would have gotten out of bed some days.
But as I sit here on this sunny November afternoon, I can easily say that even in the middle of all the changes and upheavals, God has remained faithful. Over and over again this year, He has been beckoning me to come closer, to draw nearer, and trust in the tender spaces that He is in control.
I started the year with a time of prayer and fasting, as our church traditionally encourages each January. In the past I had participated in various levels and commitments, most often fasting from forms of entertainment and a day or two of more strict fasting from food. This year, I felt the Lord invite me into something deeper. As I prayed in preparation for this time, I believed I was being led to a longer period of fasting and other sacrifices of time I had otherwise not committed to in the past.
I had several items on my “to pray about” list that I trusted God would give direction and answers to during this time: if I should commit to another year as a core leader in our CBS group, my level of commitment to a ministry that I had been partnered with at that time, homeschool plans, summer plans, my own mental and physical health - to name a few.
I can vividly recall one of the first mornings of my new routine, it was the day after my Equip Leadership class, and I was settling in my chair with my coffee and soft instrumental worship music, ready to hear God’s voice at 6:15am. As I opened my journal, I felt an uncomfortable stirring in my spirit and I asked the Holy Spirit to help me get to the root of it; and did He ever drop a bomb on me: I was holding unforgiveness in my heart toward someone for a very long time. I knew there were some “hard feelings” on my part, but the Spirit gently highlighted how those “hard feelings” actually chained up part of my heart and changed my motivations and mindset to continue seeking approval from outside sources, rather than delighting in who I was created to be from The Source.
Ok, God. Thank you for that. I did not expect this detour, but thankfully I followed the prompting of the Holy Spirit and I was able to follow some steps to recognize the lies I had been believing, repent of the bitterness I held toward this person, release my unforgiveness, and receive the truth that God highlighted for me.
A weight I didn’t even know I was carrying was lifted and I felt so free. This opened my eyes and made me excited to see what else God was going to do in the coming week!
Now, I was ready for God to tackle my list…
Except that God isn’t limited to my narrow mind and logical bullet-pointed items.
As I continued over the next few days, while God did not disappoint, He also did not directly answer my questions.
In the place of direct answers, He showed me beautiful pictures in my mind and spirit, word pictures that I would find myself meditating on throughout the days that followed. I didn’t always understand, but I trusted that God would provide the confidence to take the next steps.
What I didn’t expect was to step away from certain things; good things; things that I had been stepping into for many, many years. But what started as a prayer time of “show me how I can serve” became a broken-hearted plea to repair broken relationships and open communications again. Over and over again, whenever I felt slightly compelled to take a step anyway, God very clearly closed those doors, much to my lack of understanding.
Remaining steadfast in God’s goodness can be easy when life itself is good. Attempting to see His goodness through the pain and brokenness of human nature is not always so clear or so simple.
However, while some doors were closing, others became more apparently opened - like this blog! I had a dream in my heart for a long time to have a creative outlet and that encouraged a caring community of women. After a short and confirming text conversation with Alison, Just Four Fun Blog was becoming a reality. What a blessing this has been for both of us! I hope it has also been a highlight for you reading as well!
With summer creeping up and our family plans vastly different from other years, I remained with a heart posture of openness, with open hands ready to give and receive and open eyes to take in treasured moments with my family. Our summer was simple but cherished: lunch cookouts after school, walks to the park, long and lazy days at the lake. It was during this time that I started looking toward our fall schedules; fitting the pieces in like a jigsaw puzzle without the picture on the box. Most things were coming into focus and while the balancing act of working, school, and extracurricular activities was a delicate one, it would not be impossible.
During a time of serving at a women’s event hosted by my church I was preparing my heart on behalf of the participants, and the Lord showed me my own vision of a spiritual preparedness, as if I were putting on make-up and doing my hair, but in a very supernatural sense. I saw myself in a mirror with the words “be prepared” echoing through me.
And then there was the distinct moment that I recall questioning my current job. The thought washed over me like a tidal wave and I physically couldn’t catch my breath. Why in the world would I think about switching jobs? My current role fit perfectly into my life, I enjoyed the people I worked with…No, certainly not. I would not start down the mental rabbit-trail of what else could I be doing…
Except that in mid-August I was blindsided with a lay-off.
And that same weekend a pipe burst in our upstairs bathroom in the middle of the night and soaked through the two floors and ceilings below it.
I was still reeling from the loss of my employment but believed that God would provide another place for me. I did not bring in substantial income, but it was enough to help out with those pesky expenses like kids shoes or oil changes that aren’t always in our monthly expenses.
In another time of prayer I remember telling God that only He can make it apparent for my next steps; that I need Him to be so very clear as to a yes or a no if a position would be available for me.
Over the next several weeks and months I searched and applied to several positions, all with rejections or no response. During a promising conversation and even an online interview, I believed I was ready to take on a new role. But when Monday morning came around a message was waiting for me that she decided to go the full-time position route instead of my part-time availability.
Another door closed.
Trust the process. Trust the process.
Even up until just a few weeks before writing this I would have expected to continue looking but have since begun to believe that God’s timing is perfect and any move outside of His direct word would detour His plans for this season of my life.
Open hands, open heart, open eyes.
A new idea started spinning and I really struggled with grabbing hold of it with confidence. I hadn't spoken a word about it, not even to my husband but the week before I left for my reflection retreat he mentioned in passing that I’d be good at that very thing! I had actually planned to work through the details and research to bring him a complete plan in hopes of extinguishing any feelings of willy-nilly-ness that I’m often afraid I exude.
During my reflection retreat I did, in fact, research my ideas and make a plan, but before I felt released to pursue what I wanted, I pursued God. I limited distractions by only listening to Christian podcasts and worship music on the drive up and by having prayer points ready to think about as I walked through the park and on the beach.
It was such a sweet and beautiful time spent away to dream and plan, but also to rest and reconnect with Christ, and myself.
When I gave myself time to reflect and question, bits of myself that I thought were lost or out of order came into a clearer view. Attitudes that I have simply brushed off as “just the way I am” were challenged with “what does God say about that?”; revelations were deeply felt with margins to sit in the uncomfortableness, and tensions were embraced because there was nothing rushing me out of the moments.
I realize that two nights away, alone, is not always the dream for some. But intentional solitude with our Savior should also be a priority. It will look different than what I experienced, and the next time will be different for me as well.
This year has been topsy-turvy in ways I was not prepared for, but that has not changed the goodness of God, it has only enhanced it in a very real way. There are still legitimate conversations about expenses, revisions of our daily plans, and even looking ahead to the next year, asking ourselves what is important and what is unnecessary.
But if this year has proven anything to me, it’s that God has not let me go. He is not intimidated by me or my ideas. He can handle me; all of me. All the time.
I can trust Him.