When You Don’t Know What to Pray
By Alison Stoner
I’m really bad at prayer.
I know that sounds like a silly statement to make. As a mom I often tell my kids that prayer is simply talking to God. Just start talking - it’s that easy.
But my problem lies in the fact my attention drifts. Unless I’m verbally praying aloud, the prayer ends faster than it started. A kid interrupts the moment asking for a snack, or my most likely culprit happens… sleep ensnares me and instead of conversing with the Lord I end up snoring.
This has been an on-going struggle in my faith-journey and I’ve tried over the years to do different things so that this precious time with the Father actually happens.
Because let me make it abundantly clear: it’s not ok with being complacent in the fact that we fall asleep every time we pray, only pray when life gets super stressful, or simply stop praying all together.
In the summer of 2024 a church leader spoke a prophetic word over me about writing down my prayers because they were far too many to keep track of otherwise. This man did not know me, and did not know the health struggles my family was facing at the time, but his words resonated so much with me. I got a new journal (not like I needed one, but stationary girlies get me) and began writing out my prayers.
I started strong by writing in it daily, but of course life has its way of lifeing and I got off track for a bit… to the point where it had been months since I wrote a prayer in my journal.
I recently picked the journal back up because I had once again got too comfortable in my prayer time before bed that ended in snores instead of songs of praise. Before starting my newest entry, I looked back at some of my previous prayers. I quickly noticed that numerous things that I had been praying for a few months ago had come to be answered or resolved. In that moment, I was so grateful for the written record of these precious prayers that served as a pertinent reminder of God’s faithfulness.
This fall, my Bible study has been studying the book of Psalms. Throughout many of the psalms there is a glaring theme of remembrance. Often David records feelings of concern or fear of his enemies, but he quickly shifts to an attitude of praise when he remembers how God had done it for him before, and how God promises to never forsake us.
Thinking about all I’ve learned from David and the other psalmist these past couple of months, and seeing first hand in my own prayer journal how God had heard my cries and responded, I was reinvigorated to dive into my prayer time intentionally once again.
But as I sat there with my journal cracked open and a pen in my hand, I was blank. Nothing was coming to my mind. I think we’ve all been there from time to time. Either life is pretty status quo, or we’re at a low point and words just don’t seem to come. Whatever the reason may be, there can be periods in our faith walk where we’re just not sure what or how to pray. In that moment, however, the Lord brought a question from my Bible study to the forefront of my mind.
The question had us walk through four different verses and point out what each one of them revealed to David about who God is. The question was so powerful to me because it pointed directly to the character of our triune God and His faithfulness. For the last week or so, I have been using these four scriptures as an outline to my prayers.
If you’re in a place where you’re not sure how or what to pray, may I suggest you join me in using the following four scriptures as an outline. I begin by writing out the scripture (but if you’re a good head pray-er or a verbal pray-er just speak them) and then following up with a real life example from my day. It goes something like this…
Psalm 13:6 (ESV) “I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me.”
Thank You for Your endless grace. Thank You for salvation. That despite my shortcomings of perfectionism, being judgemental, or feeling like I can take control, You still love me bountifully.
Psalm 35:10 (NLT) “With every bone in my body I will praise him: ‘Lord, who can compare with you? Who else rescues the helpless from the strong? Who else protects the helpless and poor from those who rob them?”
Lord, You are the Almighty. You are the ultimate protector. Lord, I surrender my battles to You, knowing that You are far more capable of taking care of them than I am. I thank You that You fight on behalf of the helpless and the poor, Lord, no one is too inferior for You. You see us all and You rescue all of Your children.
Psalm 70:5 (NLT) “But as for me, I am poor and needy; please hurry to my aid, O God. You are my helper and my savior; O Lord, do not delay.”
Thank You Lord that I can call on You. Thank You that You are ok with my whiny cries. You hear me and You care that I am struggling right now. Thank You that you are just one cry away.
Psalm 140:12 (TPT) “For I know, Lord, that you will be the hero of all those they persecute, and you will secure justice for the poor.”
Lord God, I pray for my friends who are battling anxiety. Lord, they are poor in spirit, but I know that You can be their hero and their rescuer. Lord, I am sorry that so often I want to swoop in and save the day, but Lord, I surrender these friends to You, knowing that You are a far better savior than I could ever be. Thank You that Your justice and Your goodness will prevail.
Praying the scriptures like this has been a helpful springboard for me to think beyond my normal three things that I pray for. And yes, I’ll admit that my prayers don’t always align contextually with the verses exactly, but they are a great starting point for me, like a writing prompt I may give my kids.
Using this outline for the last few days has also been a great tool for memorizing the scriptures. Sure flash cards and little songs help, but writing it out daily, and then diving deeper into my thoughts around it has woven them into my heart in a unique and meaningful way.
This format is working for me currently, and I’m thinking in a week or two I may move on to four new scriptures, but I know it probably won’t stick around for forever. Like all aspects of my relationship with the Lord, He uses new ways continually to go deeper with me. I pray I will never lose the desire to know Him well, and when I feel myself getting spiritually “dry”, I’m thankful for a God who meets me in a dusty prayer journal (or Bible) once again.