Plan. Pivot. Repeat.
By Chelsey Dankert
Somehow we have found ourselves in our third week of school…and the kids are outside in their swim suits playing in the sprinkler.
This is not my plan. This was not my idea. Still, I decided to go with the flow and eat ice cream while I worked on this blog.
All things considered, September has gone about how I expected and planned for it to go. We have struggled through getting back into the routine of workbooks and daily expectations, we are balancing our activities and commitments, and we are also attempting to thrive at home and be generally good human beings. Some tasks are harder than others.
I believe we are on the right track for continuity and consistency for the upcoming quarter, and the good news always is, we can pivot for the betterment of our children and household.
We have been adding in a new subject each week this month so we are not overloaded and overwhelmed, and ultimately unproductive. Some days I think we can do more, while most other days it’s the right amount to keep us all sane. I am a big fan of a lighter workload if it means it can actually be accomplished. My husband and I both want to see our kids be successful and confident, but I don’t believe that happens when the to-do is never-ending. I personally love the feeling of checking off the items and feeling satisfied with the day, rather than piling on too much and becoming guilty for “wasting time” or following the interest-led lead of curious kids.
Our hope and role as homeschool parents isn’t necessarily to teach our kids everything - but rather instill in them a love for a lifetime of learning.
Sometimes that learning looks like training our eight year old son to stay focused on his page of math; while also learning creative ways to meet him in his abilities and attention span without being judgmental or critical when he struggles.
Other times our learning is free-play outside with their most recent acquisition of a toad; they research the best habitats and eating habits, obsessively watch over the amphibian for a few days, then learn the lesson of grace and stewardship when it’s time to release it back into the wilds that is our yard.
While yet other days of our homeschool journey consist of hard conversations about justice, peace, and joy beyond our external circumstances; we talk openly about the posture of our hearts and if we are following Jesus or if our hearts are hardening like the Pharisees.
We live on a beautifully, exhausting rollercoaster that is homeschooling.
The balance is never ending: grace and structure; chaos and rigidity; workbooks and real life. The deep and personal inner work and the external weight of bearing one another's burdens.
When we add in activities to our weekly schedule, it can quickly become overwhelming too, if we bite off more than we can chew on any given day. With 3 of the 4 kids in an activity, my time at the gym, and soon my husband will be attending Radiant School of Ministry part-time - on top of his full-time work - we have one evening a week (after 5:30pm, that is) that doesn’t have anything scheduled. Maybe you can relate, maybe you think I’m crazy; maybe I am.
Even in just the three weeks of restarting, I have discovered (or rediscovered) some mindsets and helpful reminders to help make even our most busy days slightly less crazy feeling:
Pack lunches. I hate packing lunches. But do you know what I dislike even more? Hangry children, times four. We have two mornings that we are up and out of the house by 8:30/8:45am and we don’t come home until after 12pm. We might only be in the car for 10 minutes before we get home, but by packing a simple lunch for everyone to eat, it gives the overstimulated ones something to focus on, and the yappy ones something to put in their mouths. It also helps us transition into a mindset of school work starting at 1pm, because I don’t have to rush inside and get lunch going and clean up which would put us way behind schedule, or I leave a messy kitchen which is not ideal either.
Plan for hearty snacks. To follow up with my previous point, the packed lunches are not all-encompassing, so I have planned a “choice board” for both of the busy morning days. These are typically cut lunchmeat with crackers and cheese, veggies and hummus, and fresh fruit with a yogurt & PB2 dip. I feel comfortable leaving the board (or plate) out for most of the afternoon for them to come back to while they work on their school work. I have found a healthy snack helps focus. Other days, when I am organized and firing on all cylinders, I try to plan and model snacks as “mini meals”; something that offers 2 or 3 of the main food groups. This offers variety and ideally keeps them from asking for more between the meal and snack times. Ideally.
Know their limits and motivations. This one likely seems simple or common sense. But as my children remind me almost daily, none of them are the same. One child will lock herself in her room and complete every subject on the floor; another child will sit beside me to get through his lessons; and yet another is so excited and willing to learn, I can hardly keep up with age-appropriate lessons and worksheets that keep her occupied on her own. And the fourth? Hopefully he’s not eating dirt or bubbles, and he won’t have a shirt on. One of our kids is highly motivated by screen time. He will work diligently without complaining if he knows he’ll get to play on the tablet. Our oldest, however, is not so easy. Her motivation to be tutored by Dad in math twice a week is to plan a harvest party for our friends (perhaps a decision I will reconsider in the future). When tears start to happen for any of the kids, we stop the subject. In my experience, nothing worthy will be obtained through tears. We step away, do something that brings joy, and make a plan together to tackle that pesky subject with a clearer mindset.
Know your limits. Again, maybe a no-brainer, but have you really factored yourself into the equation of their school work? On those two busy days, I am peopled out and have very little patience for “teaching”. I know this about myself and have structured our days to reflect some time for me to recharge. What about considering your cycle and hormone changes? You can read more about that journey in Creating A New Narrative. Or what about external pressures like waiting for payday or going to the grocery store? Does your homeschool schedule reflect your life, your pursuits, your body?
Keep it simple. I actually try to be responsible for printing as little as possible. Give me the entire textbook, or I will find a coordinating coloring book for the littles, but please, for the love of all things decent, do not expect me to print weekly worksheets. I won’t keep up on it, then I’ll be behind and frustrated that I am behind, then our whole month of lessons will be blown up. And nobody wants that. We have recently started using Bob Books for our youngest daughter. The concept of building specific words with a set of sounds, rather than learning sounds alphabetically, has been a game changer for her. There are amazing resources out there, and yes, sometimes I will have to print something, but as a whole, I reject that responsibility.
Schedule, schedule, schedule. But wait, did I just say that some days we throw the schedule out the window? Yes. I did. But that’s not what I am talking about here. It can be extremely overwhelming to have kids' school work, dishes, lunches, laundry, dinner, and all the other things that scream at us while we are home. How do we ever accomplish it all in a day? The answer is we don’t. Well, I don’t. When I was working from home, I learned quickly that I cannot do it all, even though I am home all day. I set aside specific days for laundry, I scheduled grocery pick-ups during times we were already out. And on days when nothing was previously scheduled, stay home!
Guard family time and honor the Sabbath. Evan and I decided a year or so ago that one night a week would be family night. The night changes based on activities for that season, but if we get too busy for a single evening, then we are, in fact, too busy. Family night might be a game night, a walk after dinner, reading out loud, or maybe a movie and popcorn. Honoring the Sabbath is actually a little more difficult. Weekends always seem to fill up with other family commitments or catching up on the chores and yard tasks that get neglected throughout the week. Sometimes our Sabbath is observed on Saturday when we are all home together, other weeks it’s traditionally on Sunday, which gives us time to rest after church services.
Most of all, give yourself grace and space to experience all the wonderful things that homeschooling has to offer. Lessons can be caught up when the thrill of chasing butterflies at the park takes longer than you planned.