To the Public School Moms
By Alison Stoner
Homeschooling isn’t for everyone.
There, I said it. Because I think it needs to be said.
There seems to be this mindset among Christian women, and maybe even moms in general, that homeschooling is king. That the “real” moms are homeschooling. This doubt of are you even a Christian mom if you’re sending your kids to school.
I know because I was the Christian mom sending her kids to school - to a public school at that!
I felt the pressure to homeschool, and I carried the shame of sending them to school every day.
I’ve had this thought many times over the last year or so, and I’ve never actually verbalized it. But I’m feeling a bit vulnerable so I’ll say it. Would I be homeschooling now if it weren’t for the influence of Instagram?
I’m embarrassed to admit that I feel so influenced by social media, but if I’m honest with myself, my answer would probably be no.
I’ll say this loud and clear because I can see how all these thoughts could be confusing. I wanted to homeschool. I loved homeschooling my children last year. I am glad I made the switch. I am happy we get to do another year of home educating.
But I am a product of public education. Of the pressure to attend college. I was really good in school. (Please ask me about my GPA and my transcripts because no one ever does and for so long I thought it would be so important!) I would have never imagined myself homeschooling my children. The culture of my upbringing included going to school and all of the activities we did being centered around school. And it was good.
Things shifted for me, however, with the Covid pandemic. When schools were forced to shut down and kids were stuck at home, I fell in love with our time together. I loved teaching them. I loved curating lessons. I loved doing life together. I wanted to keep them home so badly when the schools opened back up, but that wasn’t the plan for us at the time.
But for years I was bombarded with Instagram accounts boasting the perfection of their homeschool journey. Curriculum was thrown in my face every time I got on a social media platform. There were tons of messages about government indoctrination and school violence that filled my soul. And even offline, there was the (innocent, I’m sure) pressure from dear friends to join them in homeschooling.
And the comparison game started.
I started to feel less than. I started to worry that I was ruining my children by sending them to school. I started to feel like I wasn’t strong enough in my faith - that God saw me as less than (funny because it was Him who told me no numerous times when I prayed so fervently to pull them from school).
Social media is a really great resource. So many ideas are shared and gathered from the various platforms. It’s a way we can stay connected to friends we otherwise wouldn’t cross paths with regularly. It can be a place to glean encouragement.
But it can also be a place that breeds unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. Especially when you’re battling a desire that the Lord isn’t ready for you to step into.
The pressure I felt to homeschool from social media was my fault. I did not set healthy boundaries, and I let the lies of the enemy take root when I knew the truth about who I was as a mom and where God wanted my children. I am not blaming social media for anything, I’m simply sharing my experience.
But what I do want to say is that it’s ok as a Christian mom who sends her children to school to set solid boundaries so that you don’t fall into the same trap I did. It’s ok to unfollow certain accounts (even me). It’s ok to take a social media break around the start and end of school (when homeschool moms tend to be more celebratory that their kids are home).
It’s ok that you send your kids to school.
As a public school mom turned homeschool mom, one thing you will never hear me say is that you should homeschool your kids.
I have absolutely LOVED having my kids home. There are so many reasons why homeschooling works for my family. But I don’t know the ins and outs of your family. I don’t know what the Lord is whispering to you. I don’t know the plans He has for your kids.
Could homeschooling be just as beautiful for you as it has been for me? Perhaps? But only you, your husband, and the Lord can determine what is best for your family.
If you’re a mom sending her kids off to school next week instead of keeping them home, I want you to know that you are a good mom. You are doing the right thing for your family. The Lord looks down at you with joy. Your kids will not be ruined by the influences of their peers because they have the Father covering them with His protection. “Everyone” is not homeschooling.