What I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me
By Chelsey Dankert
We are coming into the final months of our third year of homeschooling! There are days where I can’t believe it’s been that long and other days where it feels as though we’ve been doing this forever.
I remember the distinct moment I knew we would homeschool. But it wasn’t several months later that we actually made the decision and contacted our kids' school about not enrolling the following year. From November of 2022 until May of 2023, I spent a lot of time reading and listening to books, scouring the different methods and theologies of homeschool, trying to determine which “house” we might be sorted into. I felt a huge burden to “do it right” - this is our children's education after all. This is nothing that should be taken lightly or haphazardly.
Am I right?
This is a big deal. I feel like I’m getting sweaty just thinking about it all again.
But that was just the problem. I felt like I was drowning in opinions - from the internet, from my own childhood, from my friends…
I felt like I needed a dissertation prepared to explain to any nosy woman at the grocery store why the kids aren’t in school on a Tuesday morning.
In recent years there has been a huge surge of families choosing to homeschool their children - around 3.7 million school-aged children have reported to be homeschooled, making up almost 7% of the population. Reasons for homeschooling vary, according to Google: concern about the school environment (80%), Providing moral instruction (75%), Emphasizing family life (75%), and Dissatisfaction with academic instruction (73%). The State of Michigan statistics are a little off, because we have voluntary reporting not every homeschool student is tracked by the government, however trends suggest that there has been a rise of homeschoolers in the Wolverine State with estimates showing 5-6.6% of K-12 students homeschooled in 2023-24, higher than pre-pandemic levels, driven by concerns about school environments and academic instruction.
Whatever your reasons may be, there are oodles of resources to dive into as you consider this journey, or possibly explore other opportunities within your current homeschooling adventures.
I can say that even through the last three years, my views on our own journey have adjusted to meet certain needs in certain seasons, I will always stand firm on the idea that homeschooling is not a one-size-fits-all and parents should be open to exploring and offering flexibility when perhaps their original plan isn’t working for the betterment of all involved.
With this in mind, I have compiled some points that I wish I could have heard lovingly during those months of tireless research and worry about what mold we were going to fit into. You may agree with some, or not agree with any, or perhaps this is the first time that you’ve allowed yourself to consider a different path into homeschooling.
Wherever you find yourself, it is my hope to be encouraging, with an open door and nearly warm coffee to have honest conversations about the realities of our homeschooling journey.
I need to be a qualified teacher before I consider homeschooling. On a very basic and fundamental level, no. No, you do not need to be an expert on every topic before you’d consider homeschooling. In Michigan, there are actually no requirements or certifications needed for parents to homeschool. I understand the desire to be well-versed and prepared, however I have yet to find a question that either their workbooks or YouTube can’t help solving. There are so many curriculums that offer online tutorials and additional work pages to help cement the fundamentals. I have learned right alongside the kids many times and enjoyed the process of “I don’t know. Let’s find out together.”
I need a dedicated school room to be successful. I can admit that I do dream about a dedicated school room lined with bookshelves and endless craft supplies (with little elves that magically clean up all the crafts…just let me dream, ok?) But that is just not our reality. Our homeschooling reflects our life, and our life is not contained to a single room. If I had to wait for the space, we’d never do it. I try to keep their books in the same place, but I have found that the old kids (10 & 9 years old) are happier and even more productive when they have the option to move their learning to different spaces. We are often all at the kitchen table - like right now, while I’m writing this. Some days my oldest daughter lays on the floor in her room, other days they are both at the table in the basement together; some days they start school at the same time, and other days they don’t. Our house is not huge and very lived in. Our spaces are used better when they are open to the entire family and not roped off for only certain times.
I need to teach them all at the same time. Also a hard no for me. I know the kids' trends and patterns and yes, getting the bulk of the work done before lunch is ideal, but they know what is expected of them and the consequences for not fulfilling the day's scheduled schoolwork. The older kids are very independent and will ask for help as needed, but I only check their work a few times a week to be sure they are on the right track. My middle daughter is 6. She needs more one-on-one time but so many of her activities can be considered “learning” throughout the day. She loves helping prep meals, being read to, and games like monopoly and memory match. We use the Bob Books for reading basics, Brain Quest, and IXL Math books.
I need to plan the whole year out. Some people do! I personally found that to be overwhelming and too strict. I try to have a plan for each quarter, taking into account changing seasons and activities/commitments, and look closely month to month to be sure we are accomplishing what we set out to do. Often our quarterly schedule hits all the marks, with possibly the exception of December when we stopped out typical schoolwork entirely for Christmas School.
No screens during the school day. Ideally, yes. But realistically? No. I often rely on some sort of education show for my youngest son (4 years old) while I dedicate time to helping the other kids. We’ve found some solid shows that he enjoys and doesn’t amp him up too much once it’s turned off. My oldest son has become extremely interested in Mark Rober on YouTube. While I did have to ban some of the asking for rocket science level equipment, I would rather him spend 20 minutes watching this than a brainrot of entertainment elsewhere. We do try to limit entertainment on screens until after 3pm. Some days we do, some days we don’t.
I need to join a co-op to stay connected and keep my kids socialized. Co-Ops can be a great resource - so I’m told. I wouldn’t know because we don’t belong to one. But this mindset can be true for any consistent activity. If your sole reason for registering or joining is just for the sake of keeping your kids from living under a rock, you might need to reconsider. There are so many wonderful opportunities for groups, play dates, co-ops, church groups, reading circles, that if you’re not ready to make that long-term commitment to a weekly meeting, you shouldn’t need to worry about your kids becoming trolls.
I need to keep my kids busy so they don’t feel like they are missing out. I will be the first to tell you that our schedule is tight. Wanting to offer and provide opportunities for the kids outside of the home is honorable, but you have to look at your schedule as a whole and determine if it’s becoming too much. We have kids activities 4 nights a week, and we really try to guard one night when we are all home for “family night” - this has been so important. But it’s also somewhat flexible like tonight when activities have been rescheduled because of weather cancellations earlier this week. While I would love to give them every opportunity the community has to offer, it’s such a blessing to just be home together. It’s ok for kids to be bored! Some of their greatest imaginations have burst forth when they thought they might die from lack of entertainment.
I need to replicate a school day, just at home. This is a very common misconception. And again, while some families thrive on rigidity and routine, ours prefers structure to be more like guidelines; bumpers in a bowling alley, if you will. We know the general direction and goal of each day/week/quarter, and we will inevitably veer off to one side or another, but the bumpers push us back on course. There are many mornings that the kids create some magical world in the basement and I am not about to intervene when I could just sit happily and drink my coffee listening to their brilliant ideas. Does this push us off schedule? Yes, a bit. But really, on the days of our hardest workloads, it can be accomplished well within 3 hours for the older ones. I am not a drill sergeant and I value raising kind and creative human beings rather than checking off math sheets just because I wrote it on the calendar 5 weeks ago.
There are so many beautiful paths on this journey of homeschooling. And yes, while the current goal is to homeschool through entry into the career center and high school graduation, there will be pivots and caveats and unanticipated crossroads. There may even be a time we consider stepping back into the public school system. This is a season we are holding with open hands, relishing each maneuver and mistake, learning from history books alongside stories at the dinner table. These are precious moments we will never get back.
Educational shows:
Anything on PBS Kids, but we’ve been enjoying Word World, Wild Kratts, Daniel Tiger
On Prime: Blaze, Dora the Explorer
On Disney: Bluey (ok, not exactly educational, but calm and short episodes for easy turning off.), Animal Planet and NatGeo shows
On Netflix: Number Blocks,